Weddingguide


	THE CHURCH CEREMONY
	by Emsie Schoeman

	Tradition! The international trend is a return to traditional weddings. And
	mothers (and fathers) heave a sigh of relief. Such a wedding means a
	reverent atmosphere with the emphasis on noble style and elegance – it is
	not just another grand function. A marriage is an extremely important new
	beginning that holds much promise. Families are drawn together in love;
	there might be little babies who will supply endless joy.

	To make sure that a wedding runs smoothly requires proper and thorough
	planning. Use a special file with notes. Luckily, every church or chapel has
	an administrative office. Call the office and speak to the person in charge of
	church functions. This person – usually very efficient – will listen to what the
	bridal couple needs and will be able to supply all the necessary
	information.

	Firstly, book the church (the date and time) well in advance, and call the
	minister or pastor for an appointment. Ask what is expected from the bridal
	couple. The church ceremony must be discussed in detail: the order of
	service, the prayers, the hymns that will be sung, all the music. Also discuss
	the seriousness of marriage and how to make your home a safe haven, both
	physically and emotionally. A happy marriage keeps the married couple
	healthy, it helps build careers, and can even be financially beneficial to
	both. Jealousy and possessiveness are great enemies to happiness and the
	misfortune of a divorce robs people of their joy in life. There are few worse
	things.

	Perhaps there is a marriage officer among your family or friends? Discuss
	the possibility of asking that person to officiate with the relevant minister,
	the minister must give his or her permission. Other details include whether
	the bridal couple wants to kneel (on beautiful cushions) while they are being
	blessed. These days, every bridal couple needs a great number of blessings,
	and much grace and love.

	Establish what the church permits. Flash photography or the hum of a video
	camera could disrupt the atmosphere. The choice of music is also
	important. Classical European religious music – now equally popular in the
	Far East – can be used almost continuously to create a quiet, dignified
	atmosphere. The entrance of the bride requires festive organ music, such as
	the Wedding March from Lohengrin. Perhaps the bridal couple would prefer
	a vocalist, choir, band, quartet or CD. Reserve jolly, light-hearted music for
	the reception.

	What about flowers? The church office should know whom the bride should
	contact in this regard. There may be experienced ladies in the congregation
	who do flower arrangements for the church every week. Also decide on the
	cost and use of other decorations, such as candles, posies for the pews and
	other flower arrangements. Also determine where they will be placed: where
	and on which stands, in the vestibule and next to the pulpit? If one is
	available, a red carpet both inside and outside the church would give that





	special festive feel. Other essential arrangements include the fees that must
	be paid (sometimes also for hiring the church). Is confetti allowed outside
	the church? What about rose petals and herbs that can be strewn on the
	pathway? Who cleans up afterwards? If it is a large wedding, there are
	usually people who help with the seating inside the church, people who
	help with the parking outside, and car guards.

	The rehearsal
	Find out who unlocks and locks the church or chapel. Everybody must
	practise walking correctly and must know where to wait and stand during the
	ceremony. Traditionally, the bridal group shares a meal after the rehearsal
	(instead of the modern bachelor party).

	The big day at the church
	Before the ceremony, order of service leaflets are handed out with the words
	of the hymns that will be sung, as well as the names of the people who will
	perform. The design of the order of service leaflets should match that of the
	invitations and the menus (at the reception).

	The bride must arrive on time – she should not let either her beautifully (but
	appropriately) dressed guests or her groom wait unnecessarily. The bride’s
	family sits on the left-hand side in the front of the church, the groom’s family
	on the right. She enters and walks down the aisle in a slow and stately
	manner while the wedding march is playing, to the right of the person who
	gives her away (usually her biological father). Her left hand rests lightly on
	his arm. Her retinue (if she has one) follows. Her father then lifts her veil (if
	she is wearing one) and kisses her on her forehead or cheek, and the groom
	thanks her father. Her father then joins her mother, who is seated to the left.
	The bridal couple walks up to the altar – the bride is on the groom’s left.
	The best man stands to the right of the groom (slightly behind him), with the
	wedding ring safely in his pocket. During the ceremony, the maid of honour
	and bridesmaids can sit in the front pews. Traditionally, the bride holds her
	bouquet in both hands. When the minister says “give each other the right
	hand”, the bride hands her bouquet to her maid of honour, while the groom
	holds only her right hand, and then places the wedding ring on her left ring
	finger. Perhaps consult the minister with regard to the procedures too.

	After the register has been signed, the bridal group walks out solemnly to
	where the guests are waiting (in the British tradition, the bridal couple, their
	parents and the retinue walk out before the guests). The bridal couple walks
	out first, followed by the maid of honour and best man, the bridesmaids,
	and the groomsmen (if any); then the groom’s father, with the bride’s mother
	to his right, with the bride’s father (with the groom’s mother to his right)
	following them.

	When the bridal couple gets outside after the church ceremony, there are
	baskets with rose petals, streamers or other forms of confetti that are thrown
	at them to represent a blessing.